- Ryan and I began our journey together over 9 years ago, when we began dating. We became life partners in August of 2004, and this past fall we welcomed a baby into our family. Topher Van Sol was born Oct. 3, 2009. We have two wonderful dogs that bring joy everyday and are getting used to this attention stealer! I am a counselor in training, and Ryan is an Educational Assistant at a residential treatment center. He is also working on his MSW. We live to serve and love. We are blessed my our friendships and family.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
First, I was prepared for a scolding because of my weight gain, I was worried that maybe in these past 4 weeks I had gained too much too quick. But, my midwife said I was right where I needed to be. My blood pressure is "textbook" and the baby position is exactly where it should be. I have noticed my abdomen getting more and more firm. Sometimes, I am like Ryan's little brother, Christopher always telling Ryan to feel my abs!
But the best part was when we got to listen to the heart beat again. The first time we got to hear the heart beat (4wks ago) this same thing happened. My midwife put the microphone to my belly and found the beat right away, but Baby wasn't having it. Both times, with a swish and swirl, Baby headed to a more private area! 4wks ago, I kinda laughed, and thought not much of it, but this time, it took my midwife moving all over my tummy to find it again. We heard the Baby swimming all around. We all were laughing, and Ryan said, "Sassy, just like Angie!" Later he replace sassy with obstinate! But, my fears of not being able to feel the Baby move were put to rest, because we have a very mobile little one. My midwife reassured me that with first children, mom's often don't feel things until 18-22 wks. I told her that people around me said they felt things early and I should too, and she told me not to listen to others... listen to her!
So, the lesson I am taking away is to stop comparing my pregnancy to the pregnancy of others... and the authors of all the books I am reading. Those books are very helpful and have a lot of information, but they are written to be used for generalization. And my friends and family who have been pregnant, are completely different people then I am with different bodies. Their advice is priceless, and I will take all I can get... but just because they felt their baby move at 6 wks, doesn't minimize my experiences at all! I will feel my Peanut when I am supposed to.
I am so happy to be pregnant. I am so happy to have a supportive partner who speaks to my belly every night and loves that his baby has some of my spunk! I am joyful that all is healthy and "textbook". I am content with where I am.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
As I was walking to work this morning I was listening to my favorite morning show and they were giving away gift certificates to a local restaurant and the male DJ said that these would make wonderful Mother’s Day presents and the other DJ commented on how Mother’s Day is just around the corner and that is when it hit me… I am about to join that club!
Every once and a while I have these moments of realization that I am actually pregnant, I am not imagining it and this is not a dream or a joke. This was one of those moments. Sometimes it happens when I am alone and I find myself talking to my tummy, and then I realize I am not a crazy woman talking to herself, I am talking to someone! Other times it hits me when I am speaking to people and they ask me questions and where they used to be hypothetical, now they are legitimate, time-sensitive questions: Do you want to know the sex of the baby? Are you going to use pain medicine? Do you have names picked out? Its times like that I realize I need to have answers to these types of questions because soon enough I am going to have to take a stance. And for those of you who want those answers: NO!, NO!, and NO!
I do not know if the realizations hit Ryan like they do me. Sometimes I think it’s still an abstract thought to him. And sometimes, I get annoyed because it seems he acknowledged it a long time ago and I wonder what’s wrong with me! It’s funny how we all have different time frames for these kinds of things.
So, the purpose of this blog?... I guess to document that I am going to be celebrated on May 10th! Woohoo!
Thursday, April 2, 2009
The words of the title of this blog have become my catch phrase. I say them constantly, whether to myself or out loud. I am forgetting things that have been in my brain for years, things that I need to remember, like for my MASTER'S DEGREE, and things said to me 20 minutes ago! I know this has a tone of whining, and I don't mean for it to, it is mainly a tone of surprise. I have always had a good memory... compared to Ryan, it's amazing, but now... he looks to me to remember when we moved from Lubbock to Albuquerque, how long we worked at Spirit Ranch, his birthday... and it's in there, it just takes a minute to retrieve. It is very frustrating.
So, mom's of the world, is this normal? Will it get better? Or should I just resolve myself to being forgetful? Maybe now I understand why my mom forgot me at school is 4th grade!