Everyone tells you that once you become a parent, your world changes! If you are pregnant, you nod and agree, but you don't fully understand that... at least I didn't. We are 5 weeks into this parenting game and some days I just don't know how I am going to do this for the rest of his life! Today, for example, he is AWAKE! He took a short nap this morning, and I did shower... but he's been up since his 4am feeding. After that feeding I put him to bed and he cooed and grunted until 6. Right now, he is in his bed doing the same thing. He isn't hungry, he isn't wet, he might be gassy, but he is just talking.
I guess I am having a moment of weakness! I just don't know how I am going to go back to school or work and how we are going to function! I am so scared and confused and long for the answers. Ryan is working and going to school... he is doing a great job. I just don't know if I can do the same. Daycare is a scary thing right now with all these germs and H1N1 stuff.
I guess I shouldn't blog when I am feeling this way... it makes me want to cry and go lay down. Which is what I should do, but with a 'talking' baby it isn't easy. So, I guess I am sending this blog out into the universe in hopes that by putting words to my fears, maybe they will be less scary.
I don't know what to pray, except... Lord, I need help.
About Me
- Angie
- Ryan and I began our journey together over 9 years ago, when we began dating. We became life partners in August of 2004, and this past fall we welcomed a baby into our family. Topher Van Sol was born Oct. 3, 2009. We have two wonderful dogs that bring joy everyday and are getting used to this attention stealer! I am a counselor in training, and Ryan is an Educational Assistant at a residential treatment center. He is also working on his MSW. We live to serve and love. We are blessed my our friendships and family.
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Angela,
ReplyDeleteI want you to know that ALL mothers go through this in the beginning.....there were times when i was like, lord what did i get myself into. and there were also times that i felt like i would never be rested again. But i promise it gets better. The first 6 weeks are the hardest. And if you are breastfeeding its even harder because they are hungry more often. i myself have really large breast and i also broke my back 2 years ago so breastfeeding was extra hard for me. I only got to expirience it for 5 weeks but it was hard. When i was having those feelings i felt like such a bad mom.....but alot of other moms that i talked to said that everyone goes through it so i thought i would pass along the message. Once topher starts sleeping through the night and you are more rested i promise you will have a better outlook on it all. But dont feel guilty at all for expressing your feelings. i hope i helped a little. ill be praying for yall!
God bless,
Sarah