Quick post of THANKS

When Topher was 2 weeks late being born, I thought "Why is my body doing this to me? Why won't it go into labor like it's supposed to? WHY?" And then when my milk supply was low and Topher and I were struggling to nurse, again, I thought "Why is my body doing this to me? Why isn't it nourishing and working like it's supposed to? WHY?" It was a difficult time, from the missing of my due date, to the induction, the 32 hours of labor, to the two weeks when we pumped and nursed and pumped some more and I was so sad that things happened the way they did. I still think back and wonder about why.

But, this month, chasing around my healthy, happy, lovely baby boy, I get my head on straight and stop asking why! Two of my childhood friends are facing challenges this month that are much, much harder then low milk supply. One friend's husband had his check-up and they found that the cancer has come back and is now in his left lung. Another friend just gave birth to a 25wk old baby who weighs 1 lb 11ozs. The paths that the Lord had lead my friends to is scary, long, and hard. I know God is in control and I pray that my friends find strength that only God can provide.

I am angry at myself that I have to have doses of this kind of reality to make me stop and give thanks for my healthy son and husband. But, no matter how it comes, the important thing is doing it.

I thank God for my son, Topher Van Sol and for my partner, Ryan Kendall. I also thank God for every remembrance of you.