We've got reserve!

We just got back from Topher's doctor's office and I am so happy! Topher's doc wanted to see us again after two weeks to make sure Topher is gaining the appropriate amount of weight, since he lost so much at the beginning. Two weeks ago we began supplementing with formula after every feeding and we are proud to say that he GAINED 2 lbs! Yippee! She said that he looks so good and healthy and she is very pleased. He now has little rolls on his thighs and is starting to get a double chin... and she said that is what she wants. Him to have some reserve! So, praise the Lord, we are doing good.

Harder then expected...

Everyone tells you that once you become a parent, your world changes! If you are pregnant, you nod and agree, but you don't fully understand that... at least I didn't. We are 5 weeks into this parenting game and some days I just don't know how I am going to do this for the rest of his life! Today, for example, he is AWAKE! He took a short nap this morning, and I did shower... but he's been up since his 4am feeding. After that feeding I put him to bed and he cooed and grunted until 6. Right now, he is in his bed doing the same thing. He isn't hungry, he isn't wet, he might be gassy, but he is just talking.

I guess I am having a moment of weakness! I just don't know how I am going to go back to school or work and how we are going to function! I am so scared and confused and long for the answers. Ryan is working and going to school... he is doing a great job. I just don't know if I can do the same. Daycare is a scary thing right now with all these germs and H1N1 stuff.

I guess I shouldn't blog when I am feeling this way... it makes me want to cry and go lay down. Which is what I should do, but with a 'talking' baby it isn't easy. So, I guess I am sending this blog out into the universe in hopes that by putting words to my fears, maybe they will be less scary.

I don't know what to pray, except... Lord, I need help.

Trying to keep up.

I have been such a bad blogger these past 4 weeks, but I am going to attempt a little more. Life has completely changed for me and although it is taking some getting used to, I am truly enjoying Topher more and more everyday. I can't believe it is November already. Ryan and I began our love story together 8 years ago this past month. I am truly blessed and hope the Lord has blessed you as well. Here are some pictures of our little dude.

First church visit.

First snow day... I had to bundle him up!

Smiling at Daddy

41 wks

It's hard to believe that my due date has come and gone with no new baby, but I understand it's not that unusual! Yesterday, Ryan and I got to see our little Baby with another ultrasound, which is standard for woman who reach 41 wks. It was great to see the Baby, although it was quick. Ryan said he had never seen a skeleton that was so cute before. Everything is where it should be... the heart rate was awesome, kidneys, heart, brain! Head is down and in my pelvis, so we couldn't get a good face shot, and Baby's tush is right under my chest. I could have told you that... I pat it all the time!

We then went for NST monitoring for about 40 minutes. They checked heart rate and contractions, and while Baby's needle danced all over the paper, mine did not. So, tomorrow, on my birthday, we have another appointment and we will decide our next course of options. So far, I have been taking herbs and drinking tea which is supposed to help labor along. And talking walks, but you know, that's kinda hard sometimes! Anyway, sorry blog-readers that there isn't more exciting news.

I hope that my birthday present will come soon! Prayers welcome!

The Wheels on the Bus...

As I entered the bus yesterday, I was hot and uncomfortable, but nonetheless, it was going to be another short ride to work. As I made my way to the back of the bus to find an empty seat, I was surprised how crowded it was for a Wednesday mid-morning. I found a seat at the end of the bus, and was quickly surrounded by more people. This generally doesn’t bother me, but this day, something was different.

Usually my bus rides are filled with people who are diverse and eclectic, which makes each ride an adventure. I meet people who are homeless, transient, college students, office workers, parolees, and hippies who don’t drive. Most of the time, I read or listen to music, and occasionally engage in small talk, and my commute to work is hassle free and quick.

Today, however, I was brought to tears by a young man who showed the slightest bit of kindness to me, a stranger. Like I said, I found a seat at the back of a very crowded bus and each seat around me was taken. It seems that my seat was right in the line of conversation of men who all knew each other, and decided to catch up on the ride down Central Ave. Their conversation was almost as appalling as their smell. My eyes watered from the body odor and alcohol as we stopped at what seemed like every bus stop between here and there. They discussed being in jail and fighting and even how their shoes were still stained with the blood of their last encounters. One man decided my lap would be the best place to prop his leg to show off his shoe. I gave a look, not wanting to be mad, but wanting to make him aware of my presence. He didn’t get the gesture.

This continued just a moment longer, until I was about to throw up from all the things listed above. Luckily, I am over my morning sickness, but nonetheless, I felt the emotions and fear of confinement coming along with an upset stomach. I was about to reach my limit when a young man caught my eye, and asked if I wanted his seat.

I graciously nodded, he then stood up, cleared the men from my path and sat me in the corner seat of the back of the bus. I was next to a window and had space to breathe. My new friend, then placed himself between me and the men who had obviously offended me, and he stood there until my stop. As I was leaving the bus, I thanked my new friend, and felt completely taken care of. I came to work and shared my story of the young man on the bus who gave up his seat and showed kindness with few words. He probably just felt sorry for the pregnant lady, but he made my day.

I started this blog to share news of our new baby and keep family up-to-date, and this is exactly the kind of story I want to remember.

The whirl of emotions...

And I am not just talking about my pregnancy hormones!

I am now 28 weeks pregnant and feeling very large and not at all in charge! As I enter into the last trimester of my pregnancy, Ryan and I are entering into a completely new phase of life... homeowners! If all goes as it is supposed to, then this afternoon, Ryan and I will close on our first home. We have been house-hunting since the spring and found the cutest, littlest, sweetest starter home for this little family of 3. We are so excited and nervous and every emotion in between.

The joy of looking at possible real estate sometimes changed to puking in the front yard because of the garbage + morning sickness experiences! The excitement of finding a home that would work, only to find that it is bank owned and the possibility of getting it would take months! And then finally, finding the perfect little home and the stress of gathering ALL our money for down payments and closing costs and moving, and the fear of doing the 'right' thing. There were moments of wanting to give up, moments of excitement and joy, and then paralyzing fear.

I am honestly awed at the support we have around us and the prayer that has been and that will be offered about us and this choice. I know that becoming a parent is going to be the biggest change in my life, but today, becoming a homeowner is coming in a close second.

Hopefully, tonight I will post pictures of my new home.

A little of this and a little of that...

It has been a while since the last post and that is completely my fault. It has been a little crazy. With school ending and summer school beginning, buying a house, celebrating Chris' graduation, work, and registering for baby stuff, my summer has been completely crammed, and it's ONLY JUNE!

The semester finished wonderfully! I was super stressed about my Statistics class, but made it through! This semester was filled with learning about Group counseling and Career counseling, and of course Stats. I was able to complete my classes with good grades, despite the fact that starting the semester with the news of a pregnancy made it hard to concentrate sometimes. I even got "outed" in one of my classes about my pregnancy. My teacher sensed my stress and when she asked, my friend said to everyone, "Well, yeah she's stressed, she's pregnant!" It was a hoot!

But nonetheless, the semester came to a close and I began my summer class the following week. I took Ethics online and finished in about 2 weeks. It was so quickly paced that I can't believe I was able to read an entire text book that quickly. But I did it! So, now I can concentrate on my family and me for the next few months.

We had a wonderful time with Ryan's family as we watched Chris run his last High school track meet here in ABQ. It was the State meet and he did wonderfully. He placed in two events... and I should be able to recall what they are... but like I said, I just finished an entire class in 2 weeks! :-) We also got to celebrate Chris' graduation with a trip to Colorado. Ryan, Alan, Stanna, Chris, Baby and I traveled to Denver to watch The Rapids (MLS) play. It was pretty fun for being futbol! We spent time in Colorado Springs site seeing and hanging out. We drove up Pike's Peak, and although it was beautiful, Baby and I did not enjoy the altitude change. Nothing has ever happened to me before when at high altitudes, but this time, I couldn't catch my breathe and I felt pretty dizzy. I want to go back after I can reclaim my body and see how I react! Other then seeing the sites, it was nice to eat together and visit and even to watch some of the basketball championships and just be together. I sure am going to miss Chris when he travels to the Naval Academy this summer for college. But, don't tell him I said so!

I have also been super blessed by friends and family who have offered to throw Ryan and I some baby showers this summer. We are planning on heading to Lubbock this month and then to El Paso in July. But the best and worst part about this, is registering. YIKS is all I have to say! Ryan and I were released into this huge store of baby stuff and all we could think is, "Where's our mommas!?" We probably spent 20 minutes looking at strollers, just scratching our heads. Luckily, I have amazing friends who sent me lists and lists of what they considered MUST-HAVES, and boy, was it helpful! It was like having 20 of my friends there saying "Get this, not that!"

So, all in all summer has begun and we are excited about it. We are looking forward to getting our house together (another blog about that another time) and spending time with friends and family. I am not looking forward to growing in the heat, but am very much enjoying feeling my baby move and grow.