When Topher was 2 weeks late being born, I thought "Why is my body doing this to me? Why won't it go into labor like it's supposed to? WHY?" And then when my milk supply was low and Topher and I were struggling to nurse, again, I thought "Why is my body doing this to me? Why isn't it nourishing and working like it's supposed to? WHY?" It was a difficult time, from the missing of my due date, to the induction, the 32 hours of labor, to the two weeks when we pumped and nursed and pumped some more and I was so sad that things happened the way they did. I still think back and wonder about why.
But, this month, chasing around my healthy, happy, lovely baby boy, I get my head on straight and stop asking why! Two of my childhood friends are facing challenges this month that are much, much harder then low milk supply. One friend's husband had his check-up and they found that the cancer has come back and is now in his left lung. Another friend just gave birth to a 25wk old baby who weighs 1 lb 11ozs. The paths that the Lord had lead my friends to is scary, long, and hard. I know God is in control and I pray that my friends find strength that only God can provide.
I am angry at myself that I have to have doses of this kind of reality to make me stop and give thanks for my healthy son and husband. But, no matter how it comes, the important thing is doing it.
I thank God for my son, Topher Van Sol and for my partner, Ryan Kendall. I also thank God for every remembrance of you.
About Me
- Angie
- Ryan and I began our journey together over 9 years ago, when we began dating. We became life partners in August of 2004, and this past fall we welcomed a baby into our family. Topher Van Sol was born Oct. 3, 2009. We have two wonderful dogs that bring joy everyday and are getting used to this attention stealer! I am a counselor in training, and Ryan is an Educational Assistant at a residential treatment center. He is also working on his MSW. We live to serve and love. We are blessed my our friendships and family.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Thursday, September 9, 2010
11 things about my 11 month old.
September has just begun, but already it's shaping up to be a wonderful month! Besides little man, Topher, reaching 11 months, COLLEGE FOOTBALL season has offically started! Here are Ryan and I in our t-shirts watching the first Texas Tech game of the season. It was a victory over SMU! This coming week, Texas Tech is playing UNM here and we have tickets with two other couples. It is going to be a fun game, I just hope UNM shows up and doesn't lose as badly as they did last weekend (72-0 against Oregon, Yiks!) Even though presently I am a UNM student, I will ALWAYS root for Texas Tech- sorry Lobos... WRECK 'EM TECH!
As I said, Topher is now 11 months old and I cannot believe his first birthday is a few weeks away! Here he is looking super cute!
Below are a few pictures of Topher doing things that he loves right now!
Playing with sunglasses
Climbing and sitting on boxes
Standing on his head
Eating and playing with is food.
As I said, Topher is now 11 months old and I cannot believe his first birthday is a few weeks away! Here he is looking super cute!
Below are a few pictures of Topher doing things that he loves right now!
Playing with sunglasses
Climbing and sitting on boxes
Standing on his head
Eating and playing with is food.Here is my monthly list of 11 things about my 11 month old, Topher.
1. Kiwi is one of his favorite things to eat.
2. My cell phone is the best teething toy.
3. One of Topher's legs is rough and the other is soft... because of the way he gorilla crawls.
4. He has mastered giving "high-five"
5. Topher gets very scared and begins to cry during one specific saxaphone solo from Dave Matthews Band. I am very sad about this- video coming soon!
6. Topher does not care for almond milk
7. Topher should probably have Master's degree by the time he is two... he goes to class with Ryan two times a week!
8. Topher's favorite song right now is "Itsy Bitsy Spider"
9. Topher has decided that his sleeping babies like to be thrown out of his crib as soon as it's morning. I head a thump, thump, thump around 7:30am
10. My boy does not understand that he is the boss of the grass and can crawl/walk on it. He freezes when on our beautiful lawn!
11. Topher now understands and is testing what "NO" means. I don't know if I will be strong enough to stand up against the many tears and pouty lips that are in my future from this guy!
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Last post of summer
I have no energy and no time, but I feel the need to document how precious Topher is and how wonderful I feel right now.
The school semester is beginning tomorrow and I am beyond nervous/terrified. It is going to be a very difficult semester! Ryan is taking classes, working full time, and doing his first practicum. I am taking two seminar classes and doing clinic twice a week... MY FIRST REAL CLIENTS! It's going to be a busy time. Luckily, Topher has two wonderful caregivers that are going to be taking care him whenever Ryan and I are not available. I thank the Lord we found such precious and loving woman to care for my precious and loving baby!
This evening, Ryan and I were trying to get things together for tomorrow, when Topher decided he needed some attention. He did not like us cooking and preparing our clothes and his food for this coming week, so we played. After eating dinner and sitting down for a little while, I was in the kitchen trying to tidy up when Ryan and Topher came around the corner, walking together. Topher was giggling with delight like he usually does whenever we hold his arms and let him practice his walk, when we decided it was time for a little walk time.
So, there on the kitchen floor, Ryan and I sat and played a new game I like to call, Topher Pong. We hold his hands until he's in a standing position and then encourage him to walk to the other parent. He loves this game. Usually he holds onto our fingers pretty tight and uses us for balance, but tonight, he got his balance, began to walk... and kept going all on his own! Amazing. He took multiple steps, multiple times! The most I counted was 7 in row! He is getting more and more confident in his walking and soon will not even need my fingers to get his balance. He is getting so big.
I long to post more... about our Taos family vacation and our trip to Cruces/El Paso to visit family... and to ramble more about the amazing things my 10 month old does... but school is beginning and I know I will not be able to sleep if I don't get my pens and pencils in my backpack tonight!
The school semester is beginning tomorrow and I am beyond nervous/terrified. It is going to be a very difficult semester! Ryan is taking classes, working full time, and doing his first practicum. I am taking two seminar classes and doing clinic twice a week... MY FIRST REAL CLIENTS! It's going to be a busy time. Luckily, Topher has two wonderful caregivers that are going to be taking care him whenever Ryan and I are not available. I thank the Lord we found such precious and loving woman to care for my precious and loving baby!
This evening, Ryan and I were trying to get things together for tomorrow, when Topher decided he needed some attention. He did not like us cooking and preparing our clothes and his food for this coming week, so we played. After eating dinner and sitting down for a little while, I was in the kitchen trying to tidy up when Ryan and Topher came around the corner, walking together. Topher was giggling with delight like he usually does whenever we hold his arms and let him practice his walk, when we decided it was time for a little walk time.
So, there on the kitchen floor, Ryan and I sat and played a new game I like to call, Topher Pong. We hold his hands until he's in a standing position and then encourage him to walk to the other parent. He loves this game. Usually he holds onto our fingers pretty tight and uses us for balance, but tonight, he got his balance, began to walk... and kept going all on his own! Amazing. He took multiple steps, multiple times! The most I counted was 7 in row! He is getting more and more confident in his walking and soon will not even need my fingers to get his balance. He is getting so big.
I long to post more... about our Taos family vacation and our trip to Cruces/El Paso to visit family... and to ramble more about the amazing things my 10 month old does... but school is beginning and I know I will not be able to sleep if I don't get my pens and pencils in my backpack tonight!
Thursday, August 12, 2010
A little catching up on all things Topher
Topher turned 10 months old on Aug 3, and I decided to write a blog about some of the cutey things I get to witness. He is so fun and I love watching him explore and become a little human. It seems he is always teething and has had some sepersation/stranger anxiety. I am trying to remember that it is developmental and appropriate. I just hope to raise a healthy person. Anyway, here are some of the things that make up my little man.
The guerilla crawl- Topher is so funny, my little buddy. Topher is such a good crawler, he loves to roam around the house and explore and find all the treasures that we leave around the house… a broom, tupperwear, water bottles… however, when he realizes that he is alone, he makes a bee line for me. But, when he decides to come back, regular crawling is just not quick enough. So he puts one foot down and does the guerilla hustle! It’s so funny. He is so mobile and physically competent now. Topher can crawl from room to room and follow after me as I put things away. He’s a pretty proficient crawler, but he still prefers to pull up on things and cruise along the couches, the dining room chairs and the dogs.
This month Topher became skilled at squatting down and standing and can reach down to get a toy without plopping down on his bottom, although that is still ‘easier’. He’s adept at getting down from standing back to sitting or crawling and most often he stands and hold on with only one hand so that his other hand is free for play.
Topher has started shaking his head from side to side when he is in a silly mood and sometimes I feel like he is going to throw himself to one side. It makes us laugh which makes him laugh, which makes us laugh, which makes him do it more!
This month Topher started trying to let go of us while standing, experimenting a bit with balancing on his own! He doesn't like to sit still much these days and we have a hard time containing his wiggling in environments where we need to wait patiently on our laps (in public places) – he is eager to jump down and cruise around the room. Sometimes I have to go to my “happy place” because when I think of him crawling in public, I want to rush home and sanitize every bit of him.
It seems like this past month Topher’s cognitive development has absolutely exploded. He has learned so many different things. He has learned how to do his “scruntchy face” (smiles with a scruntchy nose) and is becoming more intentional when asked. Topher knows what it means when we ask him to clap his hands, sign “all done”, and wave. He also responds to his name, “come here” and has started asking to be picked up by holding up his arms and does the same when we say “Up, please”.
Topher has also learned how to initiate peek-a-boo. We’ve often played it with him by covering his face with a washcloth and asking “Where’s Topher?” Topher now covers his face with his shirts on the changing table, a table cloth at a restaurant or random toys. He sometimes gets a little too ambitious and raises the object way over his head, where I can still see his face, but it’s so cute.
Topher has developed a love for water. He is so fun in the bath, although his favorite thing is to stand up in the bath tub. It makes for difficult cleaning- since I constantly have one had holding firmly in his slippery arm, but when he can understand the danger that implies and has more control over his body while in the tub, I will not fight it. He loves playing with letters and squirty animals while bathing. He also loves playing in water that is not in the tub… like dog dishes and water hoses! He loves splashing in both of those things and making BIG messes. And lastly, his love for water has carried over into his sippy cup. He loves drinking water. Whether it’s from my water bottle, a cup at a restaurant, or his sippy cup, he gulps and gulps. I am so happy to let him indulge and that he likes water. As long as this continues, we will keep juice far far away!
That is just a taste... I wish I could document every little thing!
The guerilla crawl- Topher is so funny, my little buddy. Topher is such a good crawler, he loves to roam around the house and explore and find all the treasures that we leave around the house… a broom, tupperwear, water bottles… however, when he realizes that he is alone, he makes a bee line for me. But, when he decides to come back, regular crawling is just not quick enough. So he puts one foot down and does the guerilla hustle! It’s so funny. He is so mobile and physically competent now. Topher can crawl from room to room and follow after me as I put things away. He’s a pretty proficient crawler, but he still prefers to pull up on things and cruise along the couches, the dining room chairs and the dogs.
This month Topher became skilled at squatting down and standing and can reach down to get a toy without plopping down on his bottom, although that is still ‘easier’. He’s adept at getting down from standing back to sitting or crawling and most often he stands and hold on with only one hand so that his other hand is free for play.
Topher has started shaking his head from side to side when he is in a silly mood and sometimes I feel like he is going to throw himself to one side. It makes us laugh which makes him laugh, which makes us laugh, which makes him do it more!
This month Topher started trying to let go of us while standing, experimenting a bit with balancing on his own! He doesn't like to sit still much these days and we have a hard time containing his wiggling in environments where we need to wait patiently on our laps (in public places) – he is eager to jump down and cruise around the room. Sometimes I have to go to my “happy place” because when I think of him crawling in public, I want to rush home and sanitize every bit of him.
It seems like this past month Topher’s cognitive development has absolutely exploded. He has learned so many different things. He has learned how to do his “scruntchy face” (smiles with a scruntchy nose) and is becoming more intentional when asked. Topher knows what it means when we ask him to clap his hands, sign “all done”, and wave. He also responds to his name, “come here” and has started asking to be picked up by holding up his arms and does the same when we say “Up, please”.
Topher has also learned how to initiate peek-a-boo. We’ve often played it with him by covering his face with a washcloth and asking “Where’s Topher?” Topher now covers his face with his shirts on the changing table, a table cloth at a restaurant or random toys. He sometimes gets a little too ambitious and raises the object way over his head, where I can still see his face, but it’s so cute.
Topher has developed a love for water. He is so fun in the bath, although his favorite thing is to stand up in the bath tub. It makes for difficult cleaning- since I constantly have one had holding firmly in his slippery arm, but when he can understand the danger that implies and has more control over his body while in the tub, I will not fight it. He loves playing with letters and squirty animals while bathing. He also loves playing in water that is not in the tub… like dog dishes and water hoses! He loves splashing in both of those things and making BIG messes. And lastly, his love for water has carried over into his sippy cup. He loves drinking water. Whether it’s from my water bottle, a cup at a restaurant, or his sippy cup, he gulps and gulps. I am so happy to let him indulge and that he likes water. As long as this continues, we will keep juice far far away!
That is just a taste... I wish I could document every little thing!
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Where we are going and where we've been
Here is video of Topher just starting to crawl in May and then video of him taking 3 whole steps! He is growing so quick and I am falling behind on my posting!
Saturday, July 10, 2010
I should be doing homework...
Greetings from the family that is being held hostage by summer school. Right now, I am deliberately hiding from my homework... well, not homework, but studying for my first test in summer school. I've been at it since Tuesday, when I started classes and it's already so draining. But thankfully it'll only be the month of July that has me crazy! Ryan is taking 2 summer classes as well and right now is hard at it in the bedroom working on his paper. Poor Topher, he has been getting read bed time stories from my Abnormal Psychology book and learning about diagnosis of Mental Disorders. He is going to need therapy after this summer!
Okay, well maybe I am. Our poor family doctor... we went to Topher's 9 month check-up on Friday and before I get to all of Topher's stats, I have to explain why I feel bad for our doc. She is such a wonderful doctor and we really like her. She's calm, always very sweet and really patient with me... I can be kind of a hand full. See with my summer class we are learning all about mental disorders and diagnosis and it has me totally freaked out. One book we have lists all the disorders as well as their diagnostic symptoms... so of course, I read them and think, "Oh no, Topher has ____!" Like yesterday, at his appt., his head measurement was a little smaller on his growth chart then it should have been, and I went right to thinking it was Rett's Disorder... characterized by a child whose head gets smaller! I had them measure it again! Of course, with a 9 month old baby, he did not sit still, so we got another measurement! And no, he does not have any disorders. He is developing perfectly. It is just my reading that has me in a tizzy! But our sweet Dr. Evans, she just smiles and shakes her head.
Anyway, now on to the perfection that is Topher. Topher turned 9 months on July 3rd and he is growing so wonderfully. He weighed in at 20.8lbs and height of 28.5 inches. Both are perfect on his growth chart, but I think he is a little taller. I tried to measure him when we got home, but he wiggled too much. Everything about him is just perfect. He is socializing beautifully and he interacts with me so much. I love watching him explore and he loves the freedom. He is such a joy.
So, here are 9 things about Topher:
1. Topher loves grapes, blue berries, strawberries, and plums.
2. Topher thinks Harper is the funniest thing.
3. Topher can clap on demand and wave hello.
4. Topher's favorite toy right now is a faded yellow football! He's just getting ready for Red Raider football.
5. Topher loves to flush the toilet and turn off the lights.
6. Topher has three or four teeth on the top of his mouth that are just ready to come through!
7. Topher LOVES water. He will gulp and gulp out of my water bottle- sometimes leaving me high and dry!
8. Topher's favorite book is his night-night prayer book.
9. Topher's favorite game is chase. He loves to chase me and Ryan around the house!
Well, there are 9 things about my 9 month old. He is so amazing and so fun. I am truly blessed. Pics coming soon!
Okay, well maybe I am. Our poor family doctor... we went to Topher's 9 month check-up on Friday and before I get to all of Topher's stats, I have to explain why I feel bad for our doc. She is such a wonderful doctor and we really like her. She's calm, always very sweet and really patient with me... I can be kind of a hand full. See with my summer class we are learning all about mental disorders and diagnosis and it has me totally freaked out. One book we have lists all the disorders as well as their diagnostic symptoms... so of course, I read them and think, "Oh no, Topher has ____!" Like yesterday, at his appt., his head measurement was a little smaller on his growth chart then it should have been, and I went right to thinking it was Rett's Disorder... characterized by a child whose head gets smaller! I had them measure it again! Of course, with a 9 month old baby, he did not sit still, so we got another measurement! And no, he does not have any disorders. He is developing perfectly. It is just my reading that has me in a tizzy! But our sweet Dr. Evans, she just smiles and shakes her head.
Anyway, now on to the perfection that is Topher. Topher turned 9 months on July 3rd and he is growing so wonderfully. He weighed in at 20.8lbs and height of 28.5 inches. Both are perfect on his growth chart, but I think he is a little taller. I tried to measure him when we got home, but he wiggled too much. Everything about him is just perfect. He is socializing beautifully and he interacts with me so much. I love watching him explore and he loves the freedom. He is such a joy.
So, here are 9 things about Topher:
1. Topher loves grapes, blue berries, strawberries, and plums.
2. Topher thinks Harper is the funniest thing.
3. Topher can clap on demand and wave hello.
4. Topher's favorite toy right now is a faded yellow football! He's just getting ready for Red Raider football.
5. Topher loves to flush the toilet and turn off the lights.
6. Topher has three or four teeth on the top of his mouth that are just ready to come through!
7. Topher LOVES water. He will gulp and gulp out of my water bottle- sometimes leaving me high and dry!
8. Topher's favorite book is his night-night prayer book.
9. Topher's favorite game is chase. He loves to chase me and Ryan around the house!
Well, there are 9 things about my 9 month old. He is so amazing and so fun. I am truly blessed. Pics coming soon!
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Topher- Water Baby
Here are two videos of Topher swimming at Joel and Suzie's house. The first video is a little longer, and nothing really exciting happens, but if you listen closely, you can hear Topher doing his sleepy cooing. Cousin Alyssa was gently pulling Topher around in the floaty and he got very tired.
This second video is what happened as soon as I turned off the camera. But I switched it back on right in time to catch him nodding off! Poor sleepy swimmy baby!
This second video is what happened as soon as I turned off the camera. But I switched it back on right in time to catch him nodding off! Poor sleepy swimmy baby!
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